Mr Golden Deal
by TheWickedQuill
Summary: ML implied, MA Logan never thought he had anything in common with Alec...until now.


author: jracklesfan77  
rating: G  
genre: angst  
pairing: M/A  
status: Complete

Summary: Logan never thought he had anything in common with Alec...until now.

Disclaimer: Dark Angel and all related elements belong to Cameron Eglee Productions and FOX - yada yada. No copyright infringement intended. Only original characters and ideas are mine. All use of Dark Angel themes, etc. is purely for entertainment purposes and I am in no way receiving benefit of any kind from this (aside from the satisfaction of writing things as I see fit!)

* * *

**Mr. Golden Deal**

_(inspired by the song of the same name by Tonic)_

* * *

The ceremony had been called for noon. 

He'd sat quietly on the floor of his den, drapes drawn and lights out, and blanketed in darkness, he mentally listed the pros and cons of attending the service. The silence was oppressive; gone were echoes of laughter, quiet conversations and frantic planning and organizing. No longer was he plagued by visitors at all hours and by all manners of entry. Almost forgotten were the frequent and heated arguments that led to their breakup.

The real one.

Thirteen months, two weeks, five days, eleven hours, twenty-three minutes and, he stole a glance at the neon markings of his wristwatch, forty-eight - no, make that forty-nine - seconds ago, she'd left without a backward glance.

He'd been blind; too blind to see how much it had changed her, to see that she'd felt neglected and used. So wrapped up in his own pain, the pain of knowing that the woman he loved was within arm's reach but completely untouchable. Hurt with the knowledge that there might never _be_ a cure or that they might never be able to bridge the gap that was steadily growing between them. So hurt that he'd distanced himself even more. But none of that pain compared to what he was feeling now that he'd lost her - and by his own devices.

Resting his forehead warily on his bent knee, Logan's limbs drooped, weighted down heavily by self-recrimination; the realization that _he_ was to blame. The inestimable Logan Cale, hacker extraordinaire, self-proclaimed, underground hero of the city of Seattle. He'd lost the woman he'd loved. To a sociopathic smart-ass with an irritating knack for getting into trouble. For _being _trouble.

Oh, he wouldn't lie to himself; to others, perhaps, but not to himself. He'd manipulated her, used her, but slowly and grudgingly (at least in the early days,) began to cultivate a profitable working relationship and later friendship leading him to develop a high regard for the extraordinary young woman that was Max. She'd been little more than a child when they'd met and he hadn't harbored any romantic notions for her at first. But he'd managed to get past his initial unease at their age difference and grown to see that love knows no age.

And God, did he love her! Logan didn't believe he would ever accept that he'd truly lost her if he didn't see for himself. Maybe, just maybe, she was bluffing in hopes of getting him to confess his feelings. To apologize and grovel and _win her back_. But he knew better. He wasn't so thick as to delude himself thus. And he needed to witness this; the final cut that would sever whatever chance he might have dreamed still existed.

* * *

The hall was silent save for the deep, throaty intonations of the priest presiding over the ceremony. The assembly consisted of Max and Alec's work friends, boss, a few odd X5s and 6s and Joshua- formally dressed but sporting a full face mask and carrying a crutch; accident victim, a very clever disguise. He was honestly pleased that the dog-man was able to attend. He had grown very close to Max since the cauterization of the Manticore facility. 

He felt terribly out of place, regardless of the fact that the majority of the guests were Ordinaries like himself. No matter how close Max was to her human friends, she shared something deeper and more intimate with her own kind. Wait, since when did he think of her as different? Had it always been this way? Was he only seeing it now because he had to or was he just angry and trying to shift the blame?

He stood silently, obscured by a large pillar. Logan's view from the back of the room was perfectly clear. She looked beautiful. Swathed in a lovely gown that showed of her honeyed skin, makeup ringing her eyes and making them seem larger than life. The soft flush of her cheek and the lush, pouty lips that were curved upward at another man.

He wanted to know what Alec was feeling. _He_ knew what it felt like to hold her. _He_ knew what it was like to comfort her, stroke her brow or cheek, whisper words of comfort and encouragement when she was vulnerable and weak. And he knew that Alec knew that, too. Better. _Intimately._ And it made him burn with jealousy and deep sadness. His inner demons raged and the voices in his head warred with one another. As much as he detested Alec, he wanted Max to be happy.

Just, why did it have to be _Alec_?

Logan crossed the room to get a better look at the man who'd stolen his Max's heart away. No one had seen him arrive and all eyes were riveted on the couple being joined in wedlock. He slipped behind yet another pillar and continued to watch the proceedings intently.

From this angle he could see Alec as he faced Max; features relaxed in happiness, eyes twinkling and a wide, satisfied smile adorning his handsome face. He recognized that look; it was one he, himself, had worn for months. It was a look of wonderment, of knowing he'd been blessed with a treasure beyond all imagining.

Max raised bright, shining eyes to her soon-to-be husband and Logan was reminded of days past when she would turn just such a gaze on him.

_They were sitting at the kitchen counter sipping wine._

_"So how long were you and Alec stuck in the closet?" he asked as he watched her face twist into a grimace._

_"About an hour. He was yapping the entire time."_

_They laughed. He noted that her laughter was light an easy, a sound he hadn't heard in a long time._

_"He's a yapper." He chuckled lightly. Giving her an amused smile he said, "Yeah, stuck in a close with Alec. You're pretty much describing my worst nightmare."_

_"It was worth it, though. It got me here." She locked eyes with him and gave a small smile._

_"It feels like old times." And it did. They hadn't been allowed any physical contact for so long that it put a strain on what had been a comfortable companionship with hints of sparks._

_"Better," corrected Max._

They were reciting their vows. Logan hadn't thought Alec capable of romantic speech. The boy had always been changing girls and as far as he knew, hadn't had a serious relationship with anyone. Until Max. And watching them now, listening to his rival recite his pledges and declare his love, it was clear to him that Alec was fully committed. The look in the younger man's eye was an exact replica of the one he'd seen that fateful morning when he'd spied Alec leaving Max's apartment. The glint and gleam were possessive, protective, lustful and bright with love. God, how he hated that man!

_Logan could see that Alec had spotted him and deliberately rubbed his loss in his face. He slung his arm around Max's shoulders and pulled her in for a hug. This earned a jerk of the head and a laugh from the brunette crushed into his side. Logan's eyes narrowed and his breath hitched into a gasp of dismay, his heart shattering with her betrayal._

_He wished he could read lips; wondered what it was that the exceedingly good looking Transgenic was saying to cause such a pleasant reaction from the normally broody and snappy girl. It killed him to see her with the one man she'd sworn off from the start. To acknowledge, privately, that it had been ages since he'd made her face light up like that, seen her genuinely happy. And it gutted him that what he'd been afraid of all along had come true. Alec had been a valid threat to their relationship; a threat that was more a silent promise than a warning. _

_Lydecker had told him it might happen. It should have happened and if not for Max being her independent self, in probably would have happened. And he'd read the reports. X5-452 and X5-494 were the most genetically compatible pair. A successful union would have been a certainty._

And here, almost two years later, the prediction had come true. A successful union. The joining of a pair that had been predestined. He'd never really stood a chance. He'd been warned. Lydecker had tried to keep him from falling, planting the seeds of doubt. And Logan had succumbed briefly, but overcame those uncertainties.

He should never have weeded the garden of his mind.

He watched as they slid their wedding rings on each other's fingers and shared their first kiss as man and wife. Alec lowered his lips slowly and captured Max's mouth with a gentleness he hadn't known the younger man was capable of. It was long and drawn out, sensual. He nearly groaned as their actions intensified and Alec's probing became more demanding. Catcalls and hoots of approval rang above the enthusiastic clapping of colleagues and friends.

He would not cry.

"Ladies and gentlemen, may I present Mr. and Mrs. Alec McDowell!"

The finality of the act shook him. But seeing was believing, and wasn't that what he'd come for? Closure? Logan sighed in defeat. He cast one, last, longing glance at the couple and caught the younger man's eye. Angling his head in acknowledgement, he offered a sad smile which the other man returned with a small salute. He watched as Alec took Max's hand and they ran down the aisle under a shower of confetti, flower petals and rice. And he caught the shared looks of rapture, happiness and hope on the newlyweds' glowing countenances.

He'd never thought he had anything in common with Alec before.

Until Now.

_**Hey, Mr. Golden Deal, I know how you feel.**_

- FIN -

* * *

Full Lyrics:

**MR. GOLDEN DEAL - by TONIC**

Swallow your pride  
Make way for the new bride  
Holding your tongue  
When they call another winner  
Oh there is more to this life

Hey Mr. Golden Deal  
Tell me how does she feel

She's like the wind  
That boy couldn't sail  
He says I've washed these decks for years  
I've carried those pails  
And oh there is more to this life

Hey Mr. Golden Deal  
Tell me how does she feel  
Does she hold you in the night  
Does she tell you everything's gonna be alright  
Hey Mr. Golden Deal  
How does she feel

Captain oh my captain  
Steer the first mate true  
The men they sing a song of fear  
Ghosts of ships who failed before  
And the captain he is laughing  
You can't control the sea  
She will always do as she pleases  
It's her nature to be free  
And oh there is more to this life

Hey Mr. Golden Deal  
Tell me how does she feel  
Do you hold her in the night  
Do you tell her everything's gonna be alright  
Hey Mr. Golden Deal  
I know how you feel  
Oh, I know  
Oh, I know

Hey Mr. Golden Deal  
How does she feel

* * *


End file.
